Dr appt. again today, this time with a gut guy....
Nothing like exposing yourself to a complete stranger so he can fondle your gut...or in my case .... my hernias...Bad ones.
...already knew it ..been living with them for months now....sucks to have the worst ..well second to the worst I guess...if worst was "inoperable" ...confirmed...then again there are much much worse scenarios ...So hernia's mine are called "Incisional hernias" unfortunately their too large and too complicated to correct Laparoscopically ...so....
Short n raw their going to cut me back open along the dotted line shove my guts back into place put/pull all my muscle tissue back together where they should be cut what needs to be cut sew back together what needs to be sewn and then slap in some mesh to hold all my ish in place which should give me a very small % that the hernia will come back.
4 days in the hospital and then similar 2-3 months recovery time like my cancer surgery... Difference this time... I've already done this once so I know its going to suck elephant size gonads.. Might not change the bowel issues I have either ..that might be for life because of the chunk they had to cut out. BUT at least there's no chemo/cancer following it either ...focus on the positive.
Positive... When I recover I will be able to enjoy what I have left...run etc maybe even. Meanwhile I have to find a way around/through the pain to work out and drop double digits so he's "got some extra room to maneuver"....might even get a lil tummy tuck bonus when its all said and done.
#NOTETOSELF: I NEED to stop letting the "can it seriously get any worse??" thought cycle have access to manifest ..this is enough. Embracing LIFE looking forward.
