September 30
Staples come out today!
Staples come out today!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Thursday, September 26, 2013
September 26 Second Chemo Port
September 26
Second Chemo Port...this one a smart port for blood tests etc added yesterday in my upper chest because my veins are too deep ...but it is also an be used for double wham chemo...
Home again...my clothes ...my bed...my smells...foods...and most of that disease out of me...my doc seems to feel I have done so well she wants to talk about staring chemo in a week instead of 3..only part still really draggin me down is this water weight/cement pants I'm still trying to get off ...One step at a time.
The larger of the many cancer masses they took out of me ..hard to look at
"I will be stronger then I have ever been or thought I could....for her.
TODAY/ASAP what I got SCOLDED for and their right is trying / being social with family friends again sitting too long really leaving the brunt of the physical and emotional end of helping on josh ...he needs a break,a shower, and a hot meal that doesn't come out of Plaid pantries nuke it section... Please hit him up If you can help him with this ASAP LOVE
Second Chemo Port...this one a smart port for blood tests etc added yesterday in my upper chest because my veins are too deep ...but it is also an be used for double wham chemo...
Home again...my clothes ...my bed...my smells...foods...and most of that disease out of me...my doc seems to feel I have done so well she wants to talk about staring chemo in a week instead of 3..only part still really draggin me down is this water weight/cement pants I'm still trying to get off ...One step at a time.
The larger of the many cancer masses they took out of me ..hard to look at
"I will be stronger then I have ever been or thought I could....for her.
TODAY/ASAP what I got SCOLDED for and their right is trying / being social with family friends again sitting too long really leaving the brunt of the physical and emotional end of helping on josh ...he needs a break,a shower, and a hot meal that doesn't come out of Plaid pantries nuke it section... Please hit him up If you can help him with this ASAP LOVE
Monday, September 23, 2013
September 23 YESTERDAY
September 23
YESTERDAY
I've been unplugged from everything except oxygen and Meds been up walking 5 times used the big girl potty even ...
LAST NIGHT
...started to be rough until the clarity that I'm a night owl sitting too long ...position water retention etc..,
Had a great nurse who really put her soul into helping
YESTERDAY
I've been unplugged from everything except oxygen and Meds been up walking 5 times used the big girl potty even ...
LAST NIGHT
...started to be rough until the clarity that I'm a night owl sitting too long ...position water retention etc..,
Had a great nurse who really put her soul into helping
Friday, September 20, 2013
September 20, 2013 she had a long surgery yesterday
September 20, 2013 · Gervais, OR ·
This is Leslie, Mo's moma, she had a long surgery yesterday
- about 8 hours and had more tumors than the Dr. thought but all in all the Dr.
felt good about the surgery...Mo did not have to have a colostomy.....now it's
a little time for recovery & then how she responds to chemotherapy. The
portal was put in her abdomen to receive chemo intra-abdominally (if that's
even a word....) as well as IV. Her brother, Gabriel, spent the night with her
at the hospital.....he says they were both awake all night. She's still the
night owl.... As Mo would say, "Love & Peace" and Thank You.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
September 19 Surgery
(from Monk, Mo's son)
September 19 9:23am
Just got the call from the doc. She has just started surgery and is doing good so far. Ill keep everyone updated!
4:20pm
Okay everyone. She is getting closed up right now. Should be in recovery room tomorrow. Doctors say she prob won't be doing too much tonight but I will try to get certain folks phone calls. There is people first in line I'm sure you all understand. Were almost through this part of it though!!!!
September 19 9:23am
Just got the call from the doc. She has just started surgery and is doing good so far. Ill keep everyone updated!
4:20pm
Okay everyone. She is getting closed up right now. Should be in recovery room tomorrow. Doctors say she prob won't be doing too much tonight but I will try to get certain folks phone calls. There is people first in line I'm sure you all understand. Were almost through this part of it though!!!!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
September 17 Trying to
September 17
Trying to wrap my mind around the next stage. I think I can rock a baldy semi successfully .
.. #MOre so knowing I helped too.
Trying to wrap my mind around the next stage. I think I can rock a baldy semi successfully .
.. #MOre so knowing I helped too.
Monday, September 16, 2013
September 16 that part where I call you all extra
September 16
K that part where I call you all extra.... SOOO serious about that ... Hospital mentioned it earlier... When I said family only call mom .. I meant right then for info needed ... Not to overwhelm her with tons of phone calls .., if you gotta ask should you come probably shouldn't .., but if my peoples wanna sit withy flesh and blood peoples ...,PLEASE DO... Just leave the extra combo platters at home people! Seriousness ... Love you ...bunch a'crazy ass artist poet musical type people ..bring if down easy now.
K that part where I call you all extra.... SOOO serious about that ... Hospital mentioned it earlier... When I said family only call mom .. I meant right then for info needed ... Not to overwhelm her with tons of phone calls .., if you gotta ask should you come probably shouldn't .., but if my peoples wanna sit withy flesh and blood peoples ...,PLEASE DO... Just leave the extra combo platters at home people! Seriousness ... Love you ...bunch a'crazy ass artist poet musical type people ..bring if down easy now.
September 16, 2013
I have been unable to voice this and it's hard now. A week
ago my first born, Mo, (P to some of us) was discovered to have Stage III - IV
bilaterial ovarian cancer. It has invaded the omentum & attached to
numerous organs. She has surgery this Thursday at OHSU.....and will start chemo
as soon as she's healed enough. I am Leslie, Mo's Moma.....Warm Greetings and
Thank Yous to all of Mo's friends, fans & loved ones. I appreciate what you
are doing for my daughter. This is a shock for the whole family... I personally
am very devastated being her moma & a nurse, also. I know what a hard road
she has in front of her - it's an ordeal to watch your child in pain, for her
to endure what surgery and chemotherapy are going to do. But I want her here
for a long time. So, Thank You All so much for all that you do for
her....loving her will make a difference. Leslie
Leslie Anne
Sunday, September 15, 2013
September 15 The mind is willing... But the body is unable
September 15
The mind is willing... But the body is unable, this will not be a journey for the weak. I'm not going to go have a surgery and everything will be all better next week...I'm going to get cut open breastbone to pubic bone and then have every bit of cancerous tissue they can cut out of me removed along with a full hysterectomy lymph-nodes... slamming me into the menopause I thought I was starting early (the irony)...if I'm lucky I leave the hospital with a valve or plug in my side instead of a colostomy bag,.. over the next 3 weeks of healing from surgery ...my ascites (fluid in my abdominal cavity) will most likely return.. they will then for the next six months repeatedly use that valve to pump me full of poison in hopes of killing the rest of the cancer surgery couldn't remove...and potentially my immune system ...minus the immune part that's the "if I'm lucky" version. I've been living with my mother working as her caretaker ... For the last year ... now suddenly she and my son are mine...while they put up a good front I can see it in their eyes every time they look at me. The pain they feel seeing mine ....My brother Gabriel Jones and I are writing my will Wednesday...to discuss what I want done with my work..,personal possessions..my remains. Because it needs to be done just in case ....he his wife family all have the same look in their eyes I have to find some kind of balance in all this ....fighting... but not being afraid...face the reality of possibilities ...this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life... This time I will be literally fighting for it....My Life. I've stayed for the MOst part relatively strangely numb.., with random hysterical breakdowns....everything I just typed painfully sinking in over the last week... Feeling trapped inside a body no longer mine.., the brain races ahead the body breaks down... I've always tried to be the one who helped others ... And now I am the one needing the help... surgery to recovery could easily take over a year..My Mom Leslie Anne and my Monk Josh Jones will need all the help they can get just as much tomorrow as 6 months from now ...
please if willing connect with them and my brother and figure out how you can help... from laundry to bills to holding their hand while they cry...I ask too that any benefits now or later you might put together that you contact and include them as well. My mother Leslie is really having a hard time...a retired nurse she understands the medical terminology instantly and knows too many details...
I am her 1st born her 1st baby..and she being a cancer survivor herself ...she is tortured trying to face the reality of the pain I am going through what she knows I am about to experience... And that she may have to watch her child die. .... This healing MOvement will not be a journey for the weak those of you who do come help..will be dealing with the same..you'll have to marinate on the reality of it all while deciding how you can help...I love you all SO much. I whole heartedly THANK YOU now for what you have all done so far and will do as this journey continues.....ALL of my LOVE"
-Mo
The mind is willing... But the body is unable, this will not be a journey for the weak. I'm not going to go have a surgery and everything will be all better next week...I'm going to get cut open breastbone to pubic bone and then have every bit of cancerous tissue they can cut out of me removed along with a full hysterectomy lymph-nodes... slamming me into the menopause I thought I was starting early (the irony)...if I'm lucky I leave the hospital with a valve or plug in my side instead of a colostomy bag,.. over the next 3 weeks of healing from surgery ...my ascites (fluid in my abdominal cavity) will most likely return.. they will then for the next six months repeatedly use that valve to pump me full of poison in hopes of killing the rest of the cancer surgery couldn't remove...and potentially my immune system ...minus the immune part that's the "if I'm lucky" version. I've been living with my mother working as her caretaker ... For the last year ... now suddenly she and my son are mine...while they put up a good front I can see it in their eyes every time they look at me. The pain they feel seeing mine ....My brother Gabriel Jones and I are writing my will Wednesday...to discuss what I want done with my work..,personal possessions..my remains. Because it needs to be done just in case ....he his wife family all have the same look in their eyes I have to find some kind of balance in all this ....fighting... but not being afraid...face the reality of possibilities ...this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life... This time I will be literally fighting for it....My Life. I've stayed for the MOst part relatively strangely numb.., with random hysterical breakdowns....everything I just typed painfully sinking in over the last week... Feeling trapped inside a body no longer mine.., the brain races ahead the body breaks down... I've always tried to be the one who helped others ... And now I am the one needing the help... surgery to recovery could easily take over a year..My Mom Leslie Anne and my Monk Josh Jones will need all the help they can get just as much tomorrow as 6 months from now ...
please if willing connect with them and my brother and figure out how you can help... from laundry to bills to holding their hand while they cry...I ask too that any benefits now or later you might put together that you contact and include them as well. My mother Leslie is really having a hard time...a retired nurse she understands the medical terminology instantly and knows too many details...
I am her 1st born her 1st baby..and she being a cancer survivor herself ...she is tortured trying to face the reality of the pain I am going through what she knows I am about to experience... And that she may have to watch her child die. .... This healing MOvement will not be a journey for the weak those of you who do come help..will be dealing with the same..you'll have to marinate on the reality of it all while deciding how you can help...I love you all SO much. I whole heartedly THANK YOU now for what you have all done so far and will do as this journey continues.....ALL of my LOVE"
-Mo
Friday, September 13, 2013
September 13 Tough night
September 13
Tough night ..my Monk hardly slept ... My poor baby and mother that they have to watch the generation between them go through this....I have friends visiting today hopefully it will give them both a break. Meds are making me fall out while typing this ..LOVE you all
As my Monk recently posted ... Life is short... Be centered in the MOment...be present in recognizing the gift of each breath... If it hasn't where you are go outside and watch the sun set next time watch the rain see the beauty in it ...compliment a loved one or stranger... Eat something healthy for dinner... Spend a few moments a do a self check mental physical spiritual...often ....forgive trivial transgressions. Try not to judge work on your personal compassion for others worry less about competing with someone else and focus on being a better BEing then you were yesterday.., Be it music literature tv food etc ... Make sure that you only allow positive healing energy and substance into the temple of yourself ...#LOVE yourself and each others
Tough night ..my Monk hardly slept ... My poor baby and mother that they have to watch the generation between them go through this....I have friends visiting today hopefully it will give them both a break. Meds are making me fall out while typing this ..LOVE you all
As my Monk recently posted ... Life is short... Be centered in the MOment...be present in recognizing the gift of each breath... If it hasn't where you are go outside and watch the sun set next time watch the rain see the beauty in it ...compliment a loved one or stranger... Eat something healthy for dinner... Spend a few moments a do a self check mental physical spiritual...often ....forgive trivial transgressions. Try not to judge work on your personal compassion for others worry less about competing with someone else and focus on being a better BEing then you were yesterday.., Be it music literature tv food etc ... Make sure that you only allow positive healing energy and substance into the temple of yourself ...#LOVE yourself and each others
Thursday, September 12, 2013
September 12 Sun Rise
September 12
Woke up at 4ish couldn't go back to sleep....decided to watch the sunrise...then sat at the computer too long trying to act like every things normal ...didn't take my pain killers on time ..., paying for it now... The sunrise was beautiful though.
Woke up at 4ish couldn't go back to sleep....decided to watch the sunrise...then sat at the computer too long trying to act like every things normal ...didn't take my pain killers on time ..., paying for it now... The sunrise was beautiful though.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
September 11 Hair
September 11
While at the hospital getting the results we also picked up info on donating my hair ...I'm not comfortable donating to the one through the hospital because it is a corporate label/product 1st and the charitable part is on the side...those that know me know how anti label I am ...it seems locks of LOVE is no longer working with the cancer association ..I'm looking into that and why? I would prefer to donate it to one that makes wigs for children so if anyone knows about others or would like to help me on the research end of that it would be beauty FULL ... LOVE
While at the hospital getting the results we also picked up info on donating my hair ...I'm not comfortable donating to the one through the hospital because it is a corporate label/product 1st and the charitable part is on the side...those that know me know how anti label I am ...it seems locks of LOVE is no longer working with the cancer association ..I'm looking into that and why? I would prefer to donate it to one that makes wigs for children so if anyone knows about others or would like to help me on the research end of that it would be beauty FULL ... LOVE
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Ovarian Cancer Diagnosis
September 10, 2013: 8:16am
Sept 2013 Ovarian Cancer the next phase in my journey through
this life. A central place to know about Events, access donation
links share cancer info you would like to share with me, well
wishes ...LOVE
Headed out to the Doc soon ..and then we'll know what there is to know.
I LOVE you all VERY MUCH
9:31pm
So..the results it is as bad as I suspected borderline between Stage
3-4, wont truly know until they get in there and really look during
surgery. On the 19th I will be returning to Portland..OHSU and they will do a total abdominal hysterectomy including the muscle
& fat walls, possibly lymph nodes and sections of my bowels if
found there...(the Doc seems to feel confident if we have to do so
there will be enough left that I wont need a colostomy bag)..and
anywhere else it might be hiding they cant see on the x-rays, ...they
also did more blood work ekg and took chest xrays today...just in
case....I can't even think about that too...after surgery I will be in
the hospital for a week and then when I have recovered enough
from that I begin combo of chemo .radiation and alternative
medicine...without it ..I wouldn't see 2014.
I spent the day with my family and my GrandDoodle they were all
there to support me and each other..gave me the strength I needed
to hear what is to come...with The Reason sitting next to me only
thing I could do was choose to fight.
I'm not going to lie and make it sound like it will be easy...statistics
are a low 30% chance ...and if it goes/stays in remission ...that
might buy me 5 more years....5 being very optimistic.... ..many
things can happen in 5 years though.
I have decided I am going to pre cut my hair ...accepting it as...no..
MAKING IT part of my warrior MOde preparing for what is to
come...and donate it to Locks of LOVE. Got to walk it the way I
talk it....LOVE even in my worst MOments
I also intend to hit it hard with a cancer fighting diet starting right a few days ago...I'm on high protein drinks ...can't eat everythings smashed together...getting my strength up...but after food...the right foods can be very helpful and are very encouraged
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP FAR/NEAR
To my foodies...often with chemo you loose your desire to eat foods taste different etc ...help me concoct some delish cancer cuisine I cant resist
I am a Pescetarian/Vegetarian (seafood/vegis) with nightshade allergies NO tomatoes potatoes peppers eggplant pimentos tomatillo etc ) ...
Scheduled shows 2013: I am going to see if someone can sit in for me in scheduled upcoming shows ..if not for obvious reasons I will have to cancel. I am also going through my work cataloging it in more pulling ones I want saved for my family ...and would with dignity prefer to 1st be paid to be the artist I am ...my Monk will handle packing and shipping ..if anyone knows my work ...its him.
it is my goal to be healthy again feb 2014 ...and have a huge celebration of LIFE in my usual Feb spot...and if I am not...it is my hope then that you may gather there and celebrate MY life.
Rach a nurse has offered to come help here and there now and then to give my mom a break ...anyone else with med skills wants to help...most appreciated
Farnell mentioned a benefit concert...those interested in the idea ...contact him each other ...YES ...now..after if thats the way the road turns..ANYTHING that helps my family in this time.
..I am an artist...going to be one until my last breath...I have been documenting myself for over a decade now, I feel for me continuing to do so will help me through the journey ..they will be raw...and they will be real.. as I experience this new chapter...you will see a part of me you may have never known...know that before you choose to look at them PLEASE if you cant handle it ...don't look and DO not leave any negative BS... I hope that you can understand my need to continue my Good Days/Bad Days project even through these dark days...
***ANY research/recipes comments etc you find please share HERE and...we can all become healthier life/cancer aware experts through this journey
Know that the notes encouragement etc are also better for me ...and us all ...here all in one place... spread out here there everywhere ...hard to follow stressful so much love I feel guilty not being able to answer all directly..please accept it is not personal ...know they are read by myself or those helping me..they are heart felt ...and woven into the strength that will help me and them..all of us ..you who are brave enough to walk this path with me ..I thank you so much for that. .I LOVE YOU ALL and thank you SO much for all that you return to me.
Sept 2013 Ovarian Cancer the next phase in my journey through
this life. A central place to know about Events, access donation
links share cancer info you would like to share with me, well
wishes ...LOVE
Headed out to the Doc soon ..and then we'll know what there is to know.
I LOVE you all VERY MUCH
9:31pm
So..the results it is as bad as I suspected borderline between Stage
3-4, wont truly know until they get in there and really look during
surgery. On the 19th I will be returning to Portland..OHSU and they will do a total abdominal hysterectomy including the muscle
& fat walls, possibly lymph nodes and sections of my bowels if
found there...(the Doc seems to feel confident if we have to do so
there will be enough left that I wont need a colostomy bag)..and
anywhere else it might be hiding they cant see on the x-rays, ...they
also did more blood work ekg and took chest xrays today...just in
case....I can't even think about that too...after surgery I will be in
the hospital for a week and then when I have recovered enough
from that I begin combo of chemo .radiation and alternative
medicine...without it ..I wouldn't see 2014.
I spent the day with my family and my GrandDoodle they were all
there to support me and each other..gave me the strength I needed
to hear what is to come...with The Reason sitting next to me only
thing I could do was choose to fight.
I'm not going to lie and make it sound like it will be easy...statistics
are a low 30% chance ...and if it goes/stays in remission ...that
might buy me 5 more years....5 being very optimistic.... ..many
things can happen in 5 years though.
I have decided I am going to pre cut my hair ...accepting it as...no..
MAKING IT part of my warrior MOde preparing for what is to
come...and donate it to Locks of LOVE. Got to walk it the way I
talk it....LOVE even in my worst MOments
I also intend to hit it hard with a cancer fighting diet starting right a few days ago...I'm on high protein drinks ...can't eat everythings smashed together...getting my strength up...but after food...the right foods can be very helpful and are very encouraged
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP FAR/NEAR
To my foodies...often with chemo you loose your desire to eat foods taste different etc ...help me concoct some delish cancer cuisine I cant resist
I am a Pescetarian/Vegetarian (seafood/vegis) with nightshade allergies NO tomatoes potatoes peppers eggplant pimentos tomatillo etc ) ...
Scheduled shows 2013: I am going to see if someone can sit in for me in scheduled upcoming shows ..if not for obvious reasons I will have to cancel. I am also going through my work cataloging it in more pulling ones I want saved for my family ...and would with dignity prefer to 1st be paid to be the artist I am ...my Monk will handle packing and shipping ..if anyone knows my work ...its him.
it is my goal to be healthy again feb 2014 ...and have a huge celebration of LIFE in my usual Feb spot...and if I am not...it is my hope then that you may gather there and celebrate MY life.
Rach a nurse has offered to come help here and there now and then to give my mom a break ...anyone else with med skills wants to help...most appreciated
Farnell mentioned a benefit concert...those interested in the idea ...contact him each other ...YES ...now..after if thats the way the road turns..ANYTHING that helps my family in this time.
..I am an artist...going to be one until my last breath...I have been documenting myself for over a decade now, I feel for me continuing to do so will help me through the journey ..they will be raw...and they will be real.. as I experience this new chapter...you will see a part of me you may have never known...know that before you choose to look at them PLEASE if you cant handle it ...don't look and DO not leave any negative BS... I hope that you can understand my need to continue my Good Days/Bad Days project even through these dark days...
***ANY research/recipes comments etc you find please share HERE and...we can all become healthier life/cancer aware experts through this journey
Know that the notes encouragement etc are also better for me ...and us all ...here all in one place... spread out here there everywhere ...hard to follow stressful so much love I feel guilty not being able to answer all directly..please accept it is not personal ...know they are read by myself or those helping me..they are heart felt ...and woven into the strength that will help me and them..all of us ..you who are brave enough to walk this path with me ..I thank you so much for that. .I LOVE YOU ALL and thank you SO much for all that you return to me.
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