Meant to share this earlier ..but its been a very emotional day...weekend...last almost 5 yrs
...Rosanna Rosannadana better known as Gilda Radner died in 1989 today from Ovarian Cancer.
...I will be starting the parp inhibitors again tomorrow night
..have to sit around all day MOnDAY waiting for the fed-ex person
some time between 8am-8pm to sign for the meds kinda ish .
..but who am I kidding...not like I go anywhere anyway
good home spaness should happen though...
Yes I said again ......didn't share the 1st try ...it was very unsuccessful
...I was horribly sick and basically fell apart after months of being brave
and being strong ..it was too much...a few of you noted my absence ..
....these parp inhibitors were supposed to be
easy breezy extend my remission for meezzy
blah blah blah .. their not...I was sick just like chemo ...and might be
2 weeks-2 months straight as my body "acclimates"
...pretty sure that's not how they were originally sold to me.
I'm currently struggling not to stay down/depressed.
.....choices ...be sorta sick all the time so I dont have to be really sick
sooner then later translates to ...would you like me to shoot you in this foot...
or the other foot???...I also don't get to see the shrink I was seeing anymore
because I'm no longer on "in the vein/hardcore" chemo ...but the new place
their sending me doesn't have room right now...soooo maybe in a month
"hang in there" they said over cheery when hanging up...meanwhile I'm popping
anti depressants every 12 hrs trying to ..."hang in there"...because what else
can I do trying not to focus on the negatives ...easier said then done.
Positive vibes for tomorrow night ...next couple of months ..
I really want these to help me stay in remission longer.
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