October 8
Spent yesterday at the hospital being tested to see if I'm healed enough for chemo... loosing too much weight...railroad track runs down my belly now...not eating enough ...Spent today anxious...my hairs gone.... life in general and not so general on cold turkey...out of sorts...this isn't me ..where am I ...weak barely can walk across the room.... let alone run away as fast as I can...... forcing myself to eat ..must get my protein up chemo's coming .. add ..everyone has questions wants answers, choices ..decisions...now now now...calm down dont get all worked up... mass overwhelming me while individually not intending to .....I don't want to be rude but at the same time I want scream until my vocal cords bleed leave me alone for a minute ...cause apparently I have "cancer"..and I JUST. DO NOT. UNDERSTAND.
Spent yesterday at the hospital being tested to see if I'm healed enough for chemo... loosing too much weight...railroad track runs down my belly now...not eating enough ...Spent today anxious...my hairs gone.... life in general and not so general on cold turkey...out of sorts...this isn't me ..where am I ...weak barely can walk across the room.... let alone run away as fast as I can...... forcing myself to eat ..must get my protein up chemo's coming .. add ..everyone has questions wants answers, choices ..decisions...now now now...calm down dont get all worked up... mass overwhelming me while individually not intending to .....I don't want to be rude but at the same time I want scream until my vocal cords bleed leave me alone for a minute ...cause apparently I have "cancer"..and I JUST. DO NOT. UNDERSTAND.
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