November 6
Messed myself up today some...earlier I looked up Ovarian Cancer originally looking for more foods I can add to my diet that fight it and made the mistake of reading my "chances statistics blah blah " via the ACS (American Cancer Society)... For me stage lllc......35% .....been trying to keep it together head positive I've been behind some slim odds ..blasted statistics out of the universe before... its always possible...and so I put on music and was "OK" until...heard his voice ...before I could get to it to change it ...as I listened to him... which made me look at the pictures ...I remember standing there outside his memorial with those folks ...our friends...even remember hearing myself say with intense passion ...we NEED to be doing what we are here to be doing it could be any one of us next. ...never even thinking I could be talking about myself.... Did I manifest this challenge?!?!... not being negative...but making myself face real..very good chance I will be seeing him before most of you do ....I CAN say I have been doing what I was put here to do...I DO feel like I#LIVED up to what I said ...I have always wanted a party when it comes..a celebrations with all my favs ...no crying allowed...I suppose I'm going to have to talk to a few of you let you know... what for when...some will read that and think it means I'm not fighting ...those that know me just know I obsess over details and 360 angles that and..basically I'm a control freak when it comes to how I am represented lol...I like to see the whole picture..be at peace with the possibilities all ending up positive...I feel good that I have NO regrets re: my work, being an artist...I walk like I talk..and for years I have been painting myself with wings.
Messed myself up today some...earlier I looked up Ovarian Cancer originally looking for more foods I can add to my diet that fight it and made the mistake of reading my "chances statistics blah blah " via the ACS (American Cancer Society)... For me stage lllc......35% .....been trying to keep it together head positive I've been behind some slim odds ..blasted statistics out of the universe before... its always possible...and so I put on music and was "OK" until...heard his voice ...before I could get to it to change it ...as I listened to him... which made me look at the pictures ...I remember standing there outside his memorial with those folks ...our friends...even remember hearing myself say with intense passion ...we NEED to be doing what we are here to be doing it could be any one of us next. ...never even thinking I could be talking about myself.... Did I manifest this challenge?!?!... not being negative...but making myself face real..very good chance I will be seeing him before most of you do ....I CAN say I have been doing what I was put here to do...I DO feel like I#LIVED up to what I said ...I have always wanted a party when it comes..a celebrations with all my favs ...no crying allowed...I suppose I'm going to have to talk to a few of you let you know... what for when...some will read that and think it means I'm not fighting ...those that know me just know I obsess over details and 360 angles that and..basically I'm a control freak when it comes to how I am represented lol...I like to see the whole picture..be at peace with the possibilities all ending up positive...I feel good that I have NO regrets re: my work, being an artist...I walk like I talk..and for years I have been painting myself with wings.
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